Thread: The Official Jokes & Riddles Thread

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  1. #21  
    20lbs of pussy and ass

    Afro's Avatar
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    First one is the best one, if you get it...

    - A pupperter stands on stage with his puppet, entertaining a crowd. The puppeter suddenly starts telling blonde jokes with his puppet, a blonde is the crown is offended and stands up, and says: "Hey! Some blondes are great people, not all of them are bad!".

    The puppeter stands up and apologizes, after that the blonde goes "I'm not talking to you mister, I'm talking to that piece of **** on your knee!".

    ------------------------------

    - A blonde is in look for a job to make money, the blonde suddenly finds an old man who needs his porch painted, the blonde takes the job and the old man says: "Well, I have to leave, do you think you'll have the porch done by then?", "Absolutely", said the blonde.

    - When the old man returned he took a glance at his porch, and it was the same as before, so he asked the blonde... "Why isn't the porch painted??".

    The blonde says "What are you talking about I painted your Porsche the color wanted me to paint it, brown!"

    Old man: "What".
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  2. #22  
    Thecowman
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    How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb.

    None they would rather sit in a room and cry about how much they miss the old one.
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  3. #23  
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    lets bring this back.
    i love jokes (L)

    Whats worse then letting micheal jackson look after your kids?
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    letting the mcaans take them on holiday.

    thanks.
    `Not allowed.
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  4. #24  
    kid rock
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    there was once a kid , on may 2nd, he kicked a kid and got suspended , he came back on may 15th , he said "SCRE* YOU!" and got expelled , so he went to a new school , he roofed 3 tennis balls , 4 basketballs went in the dumpster and while he was playing soccer , it went in a garbage truck and said "F---ing bullsh--!!" and he got told on , the principal came and said , "did you swear young man?" and he replied "f--- yeah!" and kicked him in the balls , he got suspended so he burned the next school on fire , got a girlfriend off the street and she fell off the railing , broke her arm and it was cut a little , so she said omg!! and so i ran said "you ok?" and she said "no!!! I BROKE MY DAMN ARM!!!" and dumped him so he said omg , he seen chuck norris , shot a paintball at him and buried him , george bush was acting like a gangster and he ran in the railroads trying to get a shoe while a train was coming , his mom and son were in the house , he got hit and then the train was gone. The child was playing on the railroad and a train was coming so she ran and kicked him and he went flying , so she jumped and found a dead guy and said "omg!!!"
    and so she said she would kill herself and she thrown the knife up and then the child was on a horse like a rs warrior , the horse got hit , the kid went flying into the tracks and got killed so george bush and his family died , the kid ran and killed the daughter and he burnt down all the schools in canada! when he went to homosasquatchland , he got attacked by homosasquatch's and one was bigfoot
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  5. #25  
    Poppa smurf
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    tim and tony (these two twin brothers) where sleeping togeather in the bed with tims girlfrind in the middle.

    tim says i had a dream that i was geting jerked.

    tony says wow me to

    the girl says i had a dream that i was skying.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    my name is reco. im from portoreco. i make 5 dollars every day. i met this girl loosie she gave me lots of pusy. she take my 5 dollars away.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    why is it good to have a blond as a pasenger?
    so you can park in handi cap parking spaces.
    --------------------------------------------------------
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  6. #26  
    castlescapeowner
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    ok i have a great one to pull on your friends
    say "i did your mom"
    wait a moment then say"a favor"
    w8 again then say"i helped her make you"
    w8 and then say "lunch"

    ok i have a great one to pull on your friends
    say "i did your mom"
    wait a moment then say"a favor"
    w8 again then say"i helped her make you"
    w8 and then say "lunch"

    also, it makes it more fun to w8 for then to shout or gasp between each one instead of saying it rite away after 2 seconds
    Last edited by castlescapeowner; 11-16-2007 at 10:41 PM. Reason: Double posting is not allowed!
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  7. #27  
    Poppa smurf
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    liffes not a gardon so stop being a ho.

    when i was younger, my dad asked me if i knew how to use a paintball gun, and i was like "why would someone use a gun to paint there balls

    LOL
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  8. #28  
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    Cleaned of spam - Get back on topic or don't post
    Thanks
    -Richard
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  9. #29  
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    Two pregnant woman are sitting together knitting baby clothes. The first woman says, "I hope mine is a boy because ive only got blue wool." The second woman says, "I hope mine is a spastic because ive ****ed the arms up."

    makes me laffff
    `Not allowed.
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  10. #30  
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    Hello, are you there?


    Yes, who are you, please?
    I'm Watt.
    What's your name?
    Watt's my name.
    Yes, what's your name?
    My name is John Watt.
    John what?
    Yes, are you Jones?
    No, I'm Knott.
    Will you tell me your name then?
    Will, Knott.
    Why not?
    My name is Knott.
    Not what?
    Not Watt, Knott.
    What?
    ---------------------------------------
    heres another one:

    How long is a chinese man?

    get it, theres a chinese man named How long.
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